Terangnya Abadi

kau mencari apa, teman?
apa yang sedang kau cari?
sehingga kau korbankan waktu istirahat tubuhmu, jiwamu, dan imanmu?

coba mari sedikit merapat kemari, teman.
lihat sejenak beban apa yang memaksamu meninggalkan Ia..
masalah apa? sebegitu beratnyakah hingga kau harus berburai?

beberkan, lugaskan kepada kami, hal apa yang ada di kepalamu.
pasanganmu? awalnya dari dia?
jadi dia yang membuatmu terjungkal keperbuatan gelap?
mari kita maafkan..
buka diri dan coba sedikit menjauhlah agar kau dapat terang.

lalu apa? keluargamu?
bagian mana yang membuat mereka menyakiti batinmu?
kesulitan itu? semua benang kusut ini?
coba uraikan.. uraikan secara perlahan.
jangan kau hiraukan ajakan setan, untuk mengurai masalah dengan sekelumit masalah baru.
kulihat tubuhmu, putih. kulihat jiwamu, sesungguhnya putih.
namun beberapa kali tersungkur di gelap hingga ada beberapa lebam yang mungkin sulit meninggalkan bekas.

perlahan..
biarkan semuanya berjalan secara perlahan. izinkan kehendak Allah yang berjalan.
coba kau dekati Dia lagi. dekati dengan maksud tidak hendak menyakiti.
berserahlah dan tetap berusaha dengan baik.
syukuri apa yang telah ada sekarang, hingga kau tidak terbebat dengan imaji mendapat yang lebih.

kau tahu Allah selalu ada.
jangan biarkan dunia menghempas putihmu, sayang. jangan..

jadi masih adakah lagi yang menghalaumu menuju Dia?
apa? dunia? ya aku tahu..
di dalam dunia ada manusia. ada juga makhluk lain. pun setan walau kasat mata.
berbaik sangkalah. jadilah wanita baik. hingga kau nantipun akan mendapat teman yang baik.
sungguh Allah sesungguhnya Maha Pemaaf.
asal kau sadar, kau mampu tinggalkan kegelapan.

jadilah terang.. walau jalan menuju sana menempuh waktu.
karena mudah-mudahan terangnya mampu abadi.

Set Fire To The Rain, by Adele.

I let it fall, my heart,


And as it fell you rose claim it.

It was dark and I was over,

Until you kissed my lips and you saved me.

My hands they're strong, but my knees were far too weak,

To stand in your arms without falling to your feet,

But there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew.

All the things you say that were never true, never true,

And the games you play, you would always win, always win.



Chorus:


But I set fire to the rain,

Watched it pour as I touched your face,

Let it burn while I cry,

Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name!
When I lay with you I could stay there,


Close my eyes, feel you're here forever,

You and me together, nothing is better!

Cause there's a side to you that I never, never knew,

All the things you say they were never true, never true,

And the games you play, you would always win, always win.



Chorus:

But I set fire to the rain,

Watched it pour as I touched your face,

Let it burn while I cry,

Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name!

I set fire to the rain

And I feel lost into the flames

When I felt something die,

Cause I knew that that was the last time, the last time!



Sometimes I wake up by the door,

That heart you pawned must be waiting for you.

Even now when we're already over

I can't help myself from looking for you.



Chorus:

I set fire to the rain,

Watched it pour as I touch your face,

Let it burn while I cry,

Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name

I set fire to the rain,

And I feel lost into the flames

When I felt something die

Cause I knew that was the last time

The last time, oh, oh!

a bit crunchy new activity.

hello.
16th July 2012, 11.59am by my work wallclock.

have been 3weeks i'm not writing here. so, been a long way diferent too, on my life.
there's a lot changing on my rountine. another daily activities i do. actually it's a new activity, only since 3 days ago.
somewhere, that make my lungs feeling bad. i'm trappin inside, and didn't know where else places to go.
my sleep, got destructed too. it makes my eyes, look like a zombie. i drink a hell water too. actually i forced by another people. they obliged me to do somethin that being their routine. yahs, my faults.
i strongly apologize for this all. i can't do much better to get a better one from doing all of those stuff.

whoever read this letter, and have something to ask to me, just ask me. i open for any suggestions. :)
advice me, cause i'm just a little lady who's still growing up and tried to be a good one.
haha. ciao. i'm gonna get pray now. then having my lunch, maybe. don't forget to have yours too!

weirda

Wednesday. 20th June 2012, 2.35 pm.

oke. just finished my-first-accompanying-presentation-meeting. erh.
i'm feeling fff today. dunno what i mean with fff.

gettin sick with this all. with evrbd around me. around mylife. they just.. having a bad temper. that's all who got me gettin mad, when i just wanna be a good person. like, applicate the yoga meditation on all of my living live.
people just make me feeling absurd. weird. with their matre temptation. haha, apapula itu matre temptatiton.


and i have a questions, why do i have partner that has a bad temper? he loves being a Mad Dog if i didn't doing what he want me to be. just like god. haha

manusia curhat

Monday. 1.03 pm. 18th June 2012.

tiba-tiba ada laba-laba yang datang menghampiri. mencoba menggerayangi. lalu dengan kuasa ku tepis. namun malah membuat kami menjadi terpaut dalam suatu komunikasi berkesinambungan. halah.
entahlah, mungkin hanya untuk kali ini saja. semoga.

dulu, gue sangat suka untuk curhat. bahkan kpd orang yang baru sekali gue temui, gue akan bicara tentang aib sendiri sampai mulut berbusah. busaah.
dari si Mrs.Bahu, sahabat yang gue cintai. sampai mungkin telinga kami basah oleh ludah. saat kami saling mencurahkan isi hati satu samalain. hingga lalu dia menjauh.. menjauh seiring berjalannya waktu.

intensitas curhat gue sedikit berkurang setelah tragedi menjauhnya si nona Bahu. kemudian datanglah nona Gila Bagian Timur. dia, si freakin girl. entah kenapa gue bisa dekat dg dia. mungkin karna saat itu rumah kami searah, menuju sekolah.
gue pun curhat versi galau. (karna pada nona Bahu, curhat gue versi lebay).
entah gimana, gue bisa-bisanya curhat dg mode galau pada nona Gila itu. hingga kemudian gue menjaga jarak. setelah ada desas desus dari orang yg menjauhi dia karna atitutnya yang sedikit miring. lalu dia sendiri. lalu pindah.

gue, Alhamdulilah saat itu sudah berhenti jadi perempuan galau. gue adalah salah satu dari anak-anak 'berprestasi'. (sesungguhnya prestasi yang gue raih, adalah dari tragedi demi tragedi yang membuat gue galau. sembah Tuhan atas masalah demi masalah yag ternyata membawa kebahagiaan & mendewasakan).

dengan prestasi itupun, gue dapat teman-teman baru. teman-teman yang gaul dan selalu menghargai. juga, kesempatan untuk membuka diri, membiarkan diri gue memilih untuk kembali mencintai orang lain. Lazuardi namanya. haha.


 to be continued.

The Killers - All These Things That I've Done

When there's nowhere else to run

Is there room for one more son

One more son

If you can hold on

If you can hold on, hold on

I want to stand up, I want to let go

You know, you know - no you don't, you don't

I want to shine on in the hearts of men

I want a meaning from the back of my broken hand



Another head aches, another heart breaks

I am so much older than I can take

And my affection, well it comes and goes

I need direction to perfection, no no no no



Help me out

Yeah, you know you got to help me out

Yeah, oh don't you put me on the backburner

You know you got to help me out



And when there's nowhere else to run

Is there room for one more son

These changes ain't changing me

The cold-hearted boy I used to be



Yeah, you know you got to help me out

Yeah, oh don't you put me on the backburner

You know you got to help me out

You're gonna bring yourself down

Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down

Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down



I got soul, but I'm not a soldier

I got soul, but I'm not a soldier

I got soul, but I'm not a soldier

I got soul, but I'm not a soldier

I got soul, but I'm not a soldier

I got soul, but I'm not a soldier

I got soul, but I'm not a soldier

I got soul, but I'm not a soldier

I got soul, but I'm not a soldier

I got soul, but I'm not a soldier



Yeah, you know you got to help me out

Yeah, oh don't you put me on the backburner

You know you got to help me out

You're gonna bring yourself down

You're gonna bring yourself down

Yeah, oh don't you put me on the backburner

Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down

Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down



Over and again, last call for sin

While everyone's lost, the battle is won

With all these things that I've done

All these things that I've done

(Time, truth, hearts)

If you can hold on

If you can hold on

---

"All These Things That I've Done" as written by Brandon Flowers, Dave Brent Keuning, Mark August Stoermer, Ronnie Jr. Vannucci

emotion of me

one thing that i wish you  could do is, to be someone that useful and love to gather with me so gracefully.

Friday, 3.15 pm. 3rd floor building.
i use to cry. out loud.
had just finished my lunch. i bought one pack of kacang kulit. dan sesampainya dikantor, Mom Fatima had gave me the-unfamiliar-taste of Jawara's bakery. dunno what the name of the bread. there are no chocolate or any cheese. just full of sugar dough topping.
weird taste all over, but i do love to appreciate anyone's given. so i ate that with all of my heart.

now, i found myself messup. my phone had just die. the battery is empty.

but nothing have to be worry. chill up :)
lil Grace Kelly wouldn't love to be a weirda woman just because one problem.

HAHA BICARE APEU KAU FATIYE.
oke. Jumat. malam ini akan ada rapat lanjutan dari rapat Rabu kemarin. entahlah. apakah akan lebih menyenangkan dan lebih ramai, atau sebaliknya.
i'm tryin a bit loose of being a girlfriend for anybody. yeah. toh jodoh gak akan kemana.
(BICARA APEUU)